391. The Financial Cost of Always Wanting More

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If you've ever thought, "I'll be happy when I make more money," this episode is for you.

Today, Brad dives into the financial and emotional cost of constantly chasing more. From lifestyle creep and social media comparison to the psychology behind why upgrades stop making us happy, you'll learn why so many people feel broke even when they're earning more than ever before.

Discover how modern culture trains us to stay dissatisfied, why contentment isn't the same as giving up, and how learning what "enough" looks like can completely change your financial future.

If you're tired of feeling like you're always behind, this conversation might be exactly what you need.

Transcript

The Hidden Cost Of More

Brad Nelson 0:00

So if you've ever felt no matter how much you make, buy, upgrade, or accomplish, it still doesn't feel like enough, this episode's going to be for you because today we're going to be talking about the financial cost of always wanting more and how modern culture trains us to stay dissatisfied, constantly chasing maybe the next upgrade, the next purchase, the next version of your life. And the truth is, if more is always the goal, peace keeps moving further away.

Debt Free Dad Mission

Brad Nelson 0:33

You're listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experience the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks, and practical advice to gain financial freedom. I've been debt-free now for well over 13 years, which is crazy. But awesome part is I've also been fortunate to help thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Deaf Free Dad. Now, guys, after listening to this episode, if you are ready to take things to the next level, you want to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to build your savings, finally pay off your debt for good. But maybe you're like a lot of people, even me at one point, you're not sure where to get started. Well, good news is we've created some incredible free resources for you here at Deaf Free Dad. We're going to help you get there. And I'll be sharing some details on how you can get some of those later on in today's episode. So, as I said, guys, welcome to the show. I'm sorry my voice is a little hoarse spring, and allergy season is hitting me hard right now, as I'm sure it is for some of you out there. So I apologize my voice is a little scratchy today from sneezing and coughing and oh yikes, just waiting for this pollen to go away,

When New Purchases Turn Normal

Brad Nelson 2:04

right? But uh as we get going here, I want to ask you a question. Have you ever noticed how quickly something exciting becomes normal in your life? Like you buy a newer car, right? And at first, you love it. It smells new, it feels exciting. You justify the payment because it feels worth it, right? You work hard for your money. I want something I can enjoy and be proud of. And then guess what? A few months later, it just becomes your vehicle. Like it's just your car. You barely really even notice it anymore, or that excitement has definitely diminished as the months have gone on. And then something else catches your attention. Maybe it's a different car, maybe it's a nicer trim package, or somebody else got a car and they got a better car than you, and suddenly what once felt exciting now feels ordinary, or it feels like it's just not enough. That cycle right there, right? That's where a lot of financial stress begins. So today I want to talk about the financial costs of always wanting more. And it's not to take this episode and bash you and say, you know, wanting things is bad. Not because ambition is bad and wanting to upgrade your life is bad, but because we live in such a culture that constantly trains us to feel dissatisfied all the time. And when dissatisfication becomes normal, overspending becomes easy. There's always something else to chase in your life, isn't there? There's the newer car, a bigger or better house, a better vacation, a nicer kitchen, a newer phone, right? Better furniture, a more luxurious or expensive, or dare we say, comfortable lifestyle. And if you're not careful, you start building your financial life around constant upgrading. And the problem is the finish line, it just keeps moving. You keep moving the goalposts, right? You keep pushing that finish line further and further away.

Hedonic Adaptation And Happiness

Brad Nelson 4:22

And this is actually backed by psychology. There's something called hedonic adaption, which basically means humans adapt very quickly to their improvements. Like when you get comfortable, it feels good at the moment, but eventually comfortable becomes normal and you don't feel that emotion anymore. It's just normal. The thing you once desperately wanted eventually becomes your new normal, right? And researchers have found that even major positive purchases or lifestyle upgrades often create only temporary increase in happiness before people emotionally return to that baseline of what feels normal. In other words, the feelings fade, right? And then your brain starts looking for the next thing. And that's important to understand because modern marketing, it depends on this, it thrives on this. Marketing designed to make you feel like your current life isn't enough. It's it's meant to make you feel bad for what you have and what you don't have. And if you think about how ads work, think about it. They rarely sell products, right? And I want you to pay attention to this as you're watching this on social media, listening to ads, hearing them on the radio, hearing them on even podcasts, hearing them anywhere, any advertising whatsoever. They don't sell the product, they sell status. They sell, like if you own this, it means you're successful. They sell comfort, they sell identity, they sell belonging, attractiveness. And dare we even go to they sell this is what's really going to make you happy. They're not selling a product, they're selling a feeling. And the message underneath most marketing is you'd feel better if you had this thing. And that message gets repeated thousands of times a

Marketing Sells Feelings Not Products

Brad Nelson 6:09

week. And over time, it shapes how people think. And if you think about it, even now, and to this day and age, I'm gonna age myself, I'm 46 years old, but man, social media obviously started in the late 2000s and you know, now it's just everywhere. Social media intensifies this dramatically. Now you don't just compare yourself to your neighbors or your coworkers or the people that you're around all the time. You compare yourself to everyone because you have access to everyone on social media. So you see their vacations, you see other people's cars, the way they live, their homes, you see the clothes they're wearing, the restaurants that they're going to, the experiences they have. And the dangerous part of this is you're comparing your everyday life to everyone else's highlight reel. And in a lot of cases, these people on social media, it's not even real. It's a fake lifestyle they've developed to try to make money on social media. But ultimately, by seeing this, makes you feel bad for your life. And that creates what? A hell of a lot of stress and a hell of a lot of pressure. And it's artificial pressure, pressure to keep up, pressure to upgrade, pressure to look the part, look successful, and people spend enormous amounts of money trying to maintain those appearances, even when privately they're completely stressed out. And this is where lifestyle creep quietly takes over. You see, lifestyle creep rarely happens dramatically, it happens slowly. You make a little bit more money, you get that raise, you get a bonus, and you promise yourself, you know, I'm gonna do better with my finances, I'm gonna save a little bit, I'm gonna pay off debt, but that doesn't happen, right? Because your spending starts to rise. Slightly, you start going maybe to nicer restaurants. Slightly, you don't get the best

Social Media And The Highlight Reel

Brad Nelson 7:58

car that you want, but you get the next nicest car. Slightly, you add more convenience into your life, which we all know costs a little bit more money. We get a slightly bigger house, maybe, slightly more subscriptions. And none of it feels extreme when you first start, right? But collectively, it eats the margin of your financial life. And suddenly, someone making great money still feels broke. And guys, I can't tell you how many people I've worked with over the years who make well over six figures and they feel broke, and it's for this very reason. And it's not because they don't earn enough, but because their lifestyle expanded with their income. And here's the scary part lifestyle inflation often happens automatically without intentional decisions. People don't stop and ask, is this really improving my life long term? Is this helping me get to where I want to go? Instead, what do we ask, and what do most people ask when they're selling you something? What payment can you afford? Can I afford the payment? And that's a very different question than is this something that's going to improve my life long term? Because once more becomes normal, contentment starts feeling strange, right? People almost feel guilty being satisfied. Like I should be pushing and out there hustling for more and wanting more. And that's why sometimes contentment feels like it's this distant stranger. We don't know anything

Lifestyle Creep And Payment Thinking

Brad Nelson 9:30

about it. Like if you're not constantly upgrading, you're falling behind. But let me say something very clearly: contentment is not laziness, contentment is not lack of ambition. Contentment simply means I don't need constant upgrades to feel okay. That mindset is financially powerful, you guys. It can be your best friend when getting out of debt. Because contentment changes your spending and how you look at stuff. Because when you stop chasing constant validation through purchases, something amazing happens. And it's really cool. The pressure drops, the comparison drops, your impulse spending begins to go away. The stress you're constantly feeling of that constant chasing, that constant feeling that what you have isn't enough, that goes away. And you stop trying to prove something with your lifestyle and you start making decisions based on peace instead of appearance and showing somebody this fake life. And here's something I've noticed some of the financially calmest people I know are not the highest earners. Guys, in fact, me personally, I help a lot of people who make a heck of a lot more money than me. But these are people who learned to want less. And that doesn't mean that I don't ever spend money or these people don't ever spend money. It means that our happiness isn't dependent on constant upgrading. And that's a huge difference, right? That's a mindset shift. And this is where I think a lot of people get trapped financially. They believe freedom comes from making more money. And yes, I'm not saying that income doesn't matter. It does matter. Obviously, we all want to make more income. Heck, I would like to make more income, but it's not everything to me. But sometimes freedom comes from actually just needing less. Again, less pressure, less comparison, less obligations, less debt, less payments, less lifestyle inflation, more margin in your life. In fact, I was just telling an individual yesterday, I said, I just like having more money in my bank account. I just like it. It feels good. It's just, it's that margin, right? It's that piece. Having money in the bank and having no payments, it offers flexibility for future things that are going to come down the pipeline that I don't even know are out there. And I think about this a lot. I especially think about it when it comes to payments because many people commit years of future income trying to maintain a lifestyle they think they're supposed to want because that's what advertising told them. That's what their friends told them they're supposed to want. That's what the world is telling them they're supposed to want. They're supposed to want a five, six, seven-year car loan. They're supposed to be financing everything, furniture. You're supposed to be doing buy now, pay later. You're supposed

Contentment Without Losing Ambition

Brad Nelson 12:20

to want a bigger house. And often the goal underneath, all of it, is just emotion. It's wanting to fit in and go with the herd. It's not practical. It's because we want to give this impression that we are successful, that we are accepted, that we are comfortable, that we are impressive. But the problem is your self-worth depends on upgrading your lifestyle. There is no finish line because there will always be someone with more. Always another upgrade, always another level. And this is why comparison is financially dangerous. Because comparison, it destroys gratitude, right? And gratitude is one of the healthiest financial habits that you can build. Because grateful people make calmer decisions, they're less impulsive, they're less reactive, they're less desperate to prove something. Now, let me be clear. Now, let me be clear. Let me say that again and do be clear. There is nothing wrong with enjoying nice things. Again, this episode is not about never spending money or enjoying the money you work hard for. It's about understanding the emotional engine behind your spending. Are you buying something because it genuinely improves your life or because you're chasing a feeling or you're chasing that urge to want to fit in or to look apart?

Defining Enough To Find Peace

Brad Nelson 13:50

Are you wearing a mask? Because that question matters. And here's something else the constant pursuit of more, it doesn't just cost you money. Like I said, it costs you your peace. Always chasing more creates anxiety, it creates a lot of dissatisfaction, a lot of impatience, a lot of restlessness. People become unable to enjoy what they already have. For a lot of us, a lot of us have more than enough. And honestly, if you think about it, that life becomes exhausting. And that's why so many of us are exhausted. We're exhausted from wanting more, but we're also exhausting from the financial costs that it takes on our life. So one of the most powerful financial shifts that you can make is this learning that enough exists. It's not perfect. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be luxury. It's just enough. Enough to breathe, enough to enjoy life, enough to stop constantly chasing that mindset. It changes everything, you guys. And I truly believe one of the reasons so many people stay financially stressed is because they've never stepped back and asked, what am I actually chasing? And the second question is, what does a knife on, what does enough look like for me? Because if the answer is status, comparison, validation, or appearance, no amount will ever feel like enough. Peace doesn't come from finally having enough stuff. Sometimes peace comes from realizing you already have enough. And that's a completely different way to

Simplify My Money Free Roadmap

Brad Nelson 15:30

live. All right, guys, if you are ready to stop living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to finally pay off your debt for good, build a savings. But again, maybe you're not sure where to get started. Don't worry, we've got you covered here at Dev Free Dab. Simplify My Money is sent to you each and every Sunday to your email. It is your step-by-step roadmap to better financial control. Simplify My Money is also gonna help you learn some easy to follow strategies to manage your money effectively. It's gonna help you make stress-free money decisions that are gonna help you simplify your financial life. And we're gonna give you tips that actually work. And you're gonna gain the tools and the confidence to tackle your financial goals head on. You can sign up for Simplify My Money by clicking the link at the top of the show notes. Thanks for joining us on today's show, and we will see you guys on the next episode.

Where To Connect And Support

Brad Nelson 16:32

Thanks for listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast. Connect with us on Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram. Just search Debt Free Dad. If you found value in today's episode, please leave us a rating and review. We so appreciate it. For resources, show notes, and links mentioned in today's show, visit debtfreedad.com. Catch you next week.