385. Why You Make Good Money… But Still Feel Broke

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If you’ve ever looked at your paycheck and wondered where it all went… this episode is for you.

Today we’re talking about the real cost of living with payments. Not just the interest. Not just the monthly bill. But the stress, the lost freedom, the reduced flexibility, and the opportunities that quietly disappear when your income is already committed.

Payments feel normal. Car payments. Credit cards. Buy now, pay later. Personal loans. Phone upgrades.

But normal doesn’t mean healthy.

In this episode, we break down how payments shrink big financial decisions into small “only” numbers… and why that mindset is keeping so many people stuck living paycheck to paycheck.

If you’re ready to think differently about debt and start building real financial margin, this conversation will challenge you in the best way.

Transcript

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Why Payments Keep You Feeling Broke

Brad 0:00

So if you've ever felt like you make decent money but still feel broke, this episode's gonna be for you because today we're not talking just about debt. We're talking about the real cost of living with payments financially, emotionally, and mentally. And once you see it clearly, I have a feeling you're not gonna look at debt and payments the same way.

Announcer 0:24

You're listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experience the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks, and practical advice to gain financial freedom.

Brad’s Story And Free Resources

Brad 0:52

Hey guys, welcome to today's show. My name is Brad Nelson, founder of Deaf Free Dad. I paid off about $45,000 of debt. I've been debt-free now for more than 13 years. I've also been fortunate to help thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Def Free Dad. Now, after listening to this episode, if you are ready to take things to the next level, you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to build your savings, finally pay off your debt for good. But maybe you're like a lot of people, you're not sure where to get started. Well, we've created some incredible free resources for you here at Def ReDad, and we'll be sharing some details about how you get some of those later on in today's episode.

Normalizing Payments Across Everything

Brad 1:31

Let's talk about something that almost everyone has, but almost no one questions. And I know I used to not question it. It's payments, right? Car payments, credit card payments, personal loans, buy now, pay later, furniture payments, phone payments. I mean, you can get payments on everything nowadays. And for most people, including myself at one time, payments feel normal. They're almost expected. They're just a part of being an adult, right? But here's the question I want to ask you. What is the real cost of living with those payments day after day, month after month, year after year? Because it's not just the interest rate, it's not just the minimum payment due. It's the real cost, because it's bigger than you think. And most people don't realize how much it impacts your whole life. So let's start with the obvious one.

The Math Trap And Car Loans

Brad 2:25

Let's start with the math, right? Let's pick on vehicles. When you finance a $30,000 car and pay interest, you don't just buy a car. You buy a car plus thousands extra. But here's what's interesting: most people don't feel that total cost. They feel the monthly cost. By the way, $30,000 for a car nowadays is a pretty inexpensive car, sadly. And a $30,000 car usually has about a $550 car payment. And sadly, the average car payment right now floats between $750 to $780 a month here in early 2026. But when they only focus on the monthly payment, that word has done more damage to household finances than almost anything else. It's only $550. That only, right? That does so much damage because it tricks your mind. Because payments shrink big decisions into small feeling like nothing numbers sometimes, right? And when everything is only a few hundred dollars, suddenly your income is already spent before you earn it. But the real cost of payments, again, isn't just that number and the finance part of it. It's psychological as well. You see, payments slowly over time as you collect them, payments create pressure. Every month starts at zero, except when you have payments, it doesn't. You start the month already behind, technically. You've already committed that income that you're gonna make. You're already obligated

The Psychology Of Monthly Obligations

Brad 4:00

way before groceries, way before gas, way before anything unexpected comes up that month. And that pressure creates that stress, and that stress gets to be exhausting. In fact, people say number one stress factor in their life is money and financial issues. You see, the payments over time, especially as you collect them and begin living paycheck to paycheck, they steal margin. And margin is kind of like that breathing room in your financial life. Margin is the difference between your income and obligation, right? And when most of your income is pre-assigned already before the month even begins to those payments, there's really no room left for stress-free living. There's no real room left for opportunity, flexibility, uh, opportunity to even make mistakes, opportunity to grow. And here's something most people don't really think about when it comes to these payments. When you take on a payment, you're not just committing for this month. In a lot of cases, you're committing to payments for future income for years, three years, five years. Heck, the average car payment now, I believe, and car loan is now over five years. It's going to the six to seven. I've even heard of nine-year car loans. So you're making a decision today that locks in part of your income tomorrow. A lot of your income, especially when we're talking about the subject of like things like car payments, right? Big payments. And that matters because what you do today, it changes any future opportunity that might come down the line. When your income is already committed to payments, you have fewer options when, say, a better job opportunity shows up. And maybe that job opportunity isn't necessarily a bigger salary. Maybe it's less of a salary, but it's something that you love to do. But you can't do that now because you've already committed to all of these payments. Maybe you all of a sudden have a dream or you've had a dream to start a business and you see that opportunity come up or you could take a chance. But now you can't because you've committed, again, all of this to these payments over the years. Maybe you want to move. Maybe

Future Income Locked By Long Loans

Brad 6:05

you want to make some changes in your life, right? Maybe you want to start investing. All of these things are great opportunities for you, but because you've already given and put in, like, hey, I'm committing to making these payments over the years, those payments have reduced the flexibility for you to take advantage of any of those opportunities. And they reduce a lot of that mobility. They reduce courage, not because you lack it, because you probably have the courage, but all of a sudden you're like, I can't take any risks because you're obligated, right? An obligation, sadly, it changes your decisions moving forward in the future. And that's why people making $120,000 a year can still feel broke because it's not about the income, so to speak, it's about the commitments that they've already made. You can earn a great salary. And guys, if you're listening to this, I've worked with people who make amazing salaries, well more than I ever made. And they still have very little margin. Because without margin, you don't feel wealthy, you don't feel free, you feel trapped. Now, here's another hidden cost. It's the risk, right? When you live with heavy payments, your tolerance for disruption, it drops. Like, think about it. If you have a job loss, what do we do? We panic. There's a medical issue, and medical bills are crazy expensive. And I've dealt with a lot of those myself. Again, when you're already stretched, when you're already living paycheck to paycheck, and now a medical bill shows up and it's hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, what happens? More and more stress. The car is making a funny noise. What? Oh, now we got to take out the credit card again. Here's the deal: you don't just have expenses, you have fixed obligations. And fixed obligations don't care what your month looks like, right? They're gonna show up no matter what you got going on in life. And those payments also are going to affect your decisions. Like I said, you stay in jobs you hate because you can't afford to leave. You delay dreams or maybe you give up on them altogether because you

Lost Options, Mobility, And Courage

Brad 8:05

have too much going out every month to even commit to any sort of money or finances to make those dreams become a reality. You tolerate stress because the alternative feels way too risky. That's not freedom, you guys. Those are handcuffs, financial handcuffs that you're putting on yourself. And most people, we put them on voluntarily, not all at one time, but slowly over time as you collect these payments. And I remember this, right? It started out small. It's not like I woke up one day and said, I just want to have all this debt and have all this payment. No, it was one decision at a time. And again, it felt normal because everybody else was doing it. Now let's go a little bit deeper. Payments don't just cost money, they also cost you time. You see, if you finance something for five years, you're committing five years of future work to pay for that past decision. Five years of earning, five years of mental bandwidth paying that bill, five years of reduced flexibility and opportunities. That's a big deal. And most people don't really think about that. And most people make the commitment in about 45 minutes, and again, picking on, say, like a car, they make that decision and that commitment within a few hours sitting at a dealership. Think about that. Years of application decided in just a few hours. Now let's talk identity. When payments are normal, consumption, over consumption becomes normal. If you haven't realized and looked around lately, they make everything easy to buy and especially easy to go into debt for. Upgrading becomes normal, financing becomes normal, but wealth building, oh, that feels too slow. That's boring. That's out of reach. Because payments train your brain to think short term. What's the monthly amount that we have to pay instead of what's the total cost? What's the opportunity cost of owning that item over these next several

Risk, Disruptions, And Fixed Bills

Brad 10:05

years? What could this money also be doing? Instead, if we didn't do this, what could it be doing? And here's a powerful question: what would your life look like if you have no payments? And sadly, most people have never even considered that in their life because payments have become so normal. But think about that. No car payment. Eve heck for most people, just no more credit card payments. Imagine that feeling, right? No more personal loans, no more buy now, pay later. And if you think about that, you look at your total amount of debt that you have, and I asked my roots members to do this when they first start. So if you feel like it's impossible to save, look at your total payments going out every month. Two debt car payments, credit cards, student loans, personal loans, all these things. What could you do with that money if you didn't have to send it to them every single month? How much margin would you have? How much stress could disappear in your life? How much faster could you build your savings? You may even be able to go on that dream vacation, right? You might be able to make some different decisions for your life. But that's the real cost comparison, not just the interest, but it's the freedom. And here's the part most people miss. And I did it one time too. Payments don't cost money. They cost a lot of momentum in your life. Because when a big chunk of your income is locked into payments, like it is for most people, most people are living paycheck to paycheck. It's hard to do things like build an emergency fund quickly. It's hard to invest in your future. It's hard to cash flow any sort of future opportunities coming up. It's hard to take any calculated risks in your life because your cash flow is already spoken for. And that's why most people feel and are stuck. They're not lazy, they're just stuck. Now let me be clear. This is not about shame. All right. That's not the point of this episode at all. Most of us were taught that this is normal. We were built in a payment society. Everything is payments. I made the same mistakes when it came to cars when I was broke and in debt. I made a lot of poor decisions. Well, I can't even get into all that in this episode. And kicking car payments and really kicking payments altogether was one of the single best decisions that I've ever made in my life. And again, that doesn't mean that I'm perfect with

Time Cost And Identity Shifts

Brad 12:20

my finances, but I can tell you, going through life without debt, man, it makes life so much easier and less stressful. And it's not because I hate cars, hate new cars, hate nice things, don't want you to have no, it's because I love the margin. I love options, I love the breathing room, and I love the freedom. And payments steal all of that. So the real cost of living with payments is this it's stress, it's reduced flexibility, slower, fewer options in your life, lower risk tolerance, delayed freedom. Heck, even most people live with that their entire life. They never really truly experience any sort of real financial freedom. And when you add all that up, it's expensive. Now, here's the good news: you don't have to eliminate all of this stuff overnight. Nor am I encouraging you to do so. What I am encouraging you though is to start thinking differently when it comes to payments and debt. You can start shifting your mindset now. Instead of asking, what's the monthly bill gonna be? Start asking, like, what's this gonna cost me in margin? What's this gonna cost me in my freedom? What's this gonna cost me in any sort of future opportunities that might come down the pipeline? Is it worth saying no to those things and having this thing? What is the commitment gonna mean long term for us? Because when you change the question, you change the decision. And living without payments, it isn't extreme. It's it's about being intentional. It means you own your income instead of your payments owning you. It means you create space instead of a lot of pressure in your daily life. It means your future is gonna have some options, and options are a lot of fun. Now, if you're tired of feeling like your income disappears before you even touch it, if you're tired of you know normal feeling stressful, if you're tired of

Imagine Life With No Payments

Brad 14:10

payments dictating your life day in and day out, that's exactly why we built Defreedad and our Roots Personal Finance Membership Program. Now, inside Roots, we help you build a step-by-step plan to eliminate debt, change your mindset, reduce payments, build margin without feeling deprived in your life. And now enrollment isn't open all the time, but what you can do is if you are interested, uh you can join our wait list, go over to deaffreedad.com, click on the free resources page. And if you scroll down a little bit, you see the wait list there. And when the doors open again, we only let them a limited amount of people in certain times throughout the year. You have the opportunity to join us. And the link to do that again is gonna be at defreedad.com. All right, now if you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to build savings, finally pay off your debt for good. But again, maybe you're not sure where to get started. Don't worry. We've got you covered. Simplify My Money is sent to you each and every Sunday to your email. And it's gonna help you make better financial decisions, stress-free decisions. It's gonna give you better financial control, and you're also gonna learn some easy-to-follow strategies to manage your money effectively, and you're also gonna gain the tools and the confidence to tackle your financial goals head on. You can sign up for this free newsletter. Again, simplify my money by clicking the link at the top of the show notes. Thanks for joining us on today's show, and we will see you guys on the next episode.

Announcer 15:34

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